I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
