Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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