Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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