Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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