What a fucking waste of an outfit
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
