On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You're a waste of cheezeits
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
