hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
