i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize