Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I cut my penus on the lid.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
