sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
