I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
