Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
