i don't like sucking hair
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
