I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
where are my eyebrows?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
