I am puke
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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