I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
