Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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