did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
