I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
