I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
