he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Sponge bath it is.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
