I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
