It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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