Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
