Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
