doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
