I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
