porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm just crazy horny about you
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
