Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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