he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
