I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
