hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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