Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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