well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
