So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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