Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I would fuck him just for his dog
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
