STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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