Sry I called you an 8
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
