we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
