anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize