Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize