Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
