I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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