After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
