let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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