69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
