Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
