Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize