I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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