Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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