between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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