dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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