I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
