he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
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