I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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