He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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