My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
