the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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