I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
