My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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