and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
