dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize