I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
