Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
